Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So squirting runs in the family.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
