Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
