They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
