I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
