So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
