i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
