is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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