white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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