i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
