Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
