So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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