Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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