Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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