Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
