I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
