so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
