none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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