I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think my mom watched the whole time
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
