I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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