I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
