We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
