I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
