I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
