I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
