I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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