I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
