Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
