We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I looked at my own cervix.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
