are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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