why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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