dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize