The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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