Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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