I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
