Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
