it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
