Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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