Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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