Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
