im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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