did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
