I want to have your abortion
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
