Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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