Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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