Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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