Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
