I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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