Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
