I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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