Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
