best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
