how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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