Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
